A question I am often asked is “what is the most important attribute for a Leader as coach?” or indeed for a newly qualified coach. What is the quality that will best enable them to maximise a coaching approach to their role?
Whether it is a coach or a leader using a coaching style of leadership the challenge is much the same; improving their understanding of the person they are dealing with. The better they can understand the other person’s perspective, attitude and emotions around a situation the better equipped they will be to help them.
So bearing this in mind what is the most important attribute for a leader as coach? When training and developing Leaders and Coaches the importance of deep listening cannot be stressed enough, and is a huge skill that is often underestimated. People want to feel valued and knowing that they are being heard is a critical factor in this. If they don’t believe they are being listened to, why should they bother telling you what they really think? Whilst listening is a critical skill, in my opinion it isn’t the most important attribute for a leader or coach.
What can we learn from children?
What children are really good at is asking questions. As any parent or teacher knows, children have a bottomless pit of questions to throw at you. They are insatiable in their desire to understand and learn. Having a great bank of questions in another important attribute for a Leader as coach. Asking great questions gives you the opportunity to learn and to demonstrate that the other person’s views are important to you. However, what drives the best questions is this curiosity to understand and learn. For me, this is the most important attribute for a leader as coach, and something we need to learn from children. Allow your curiosity to drive your questions. Show interest in what drives an individual, take time to understand what is important to them. If you are curious, not only do you ask questions but you also listen to understand.
Subconscious messages
It isn’t just what the other person says that can satisfy your curiosity. What else are they sharing with you, consciously or subconsciously? When interacting with someone we need to take time to observe them and pay attention to the different signals they send. Acknowledging these subconscious signals can dramatically strengthen relationships and drive positive engagement. Using the Morgan Schofield Share Model can help with this.
The Morgan Schofield SHARE Model
Everyone gives out information that a leader or coach can use to adapt their approach to an interaction that will produce the best outcome for each party involved. What does an individual’s body language tell you about them? For example, do they look confident or anxious? What kind of language are they using? Does it indicate a positive or negative mindset? How would you describe their attitude? Is it can do or can’t do? When reflecting on their situation what does this tell you? Are they driven by the prospect of success or the fear of failure? How are they showing up emotionally? A area often overlooked by Leaders and coaches is exploring how an individual feels about the situation. Emotions have a huge effect on behaviour so we ignore this at our peril!
The SHARE Model was featured in the latest edition of Coaching Perspectives. This is official magazine for the Association for Coaching, should you want a more detailed explanation of the model.
The most important attribute for a leader as coach…
I firmly believe the most important attribute for a Leader as Coach is curiosity. If you are curious the quality of your listening will improve and this will drive your questions as you seek to understand and learn. This will subsequently have a positive impact on the person you are managing or coaching, as they will feel valued. If they know you are interested in what they have to say, they are far more likely to share more with you. This can only help both of you to find suitable solutions to the challenges faced.
Would you agree that curiosity is the most important attribute or are you of the view that curiosity killed the cat? š
How much curiosity to understand and learn do you demonstrate in your interactions with others?
