How to build your confidence in 3 short steps

3 short steps to greater confidence.

When faced with a challenging situation do you feel calm and confident in the face of adversity, or do you feel anxious and uncertain about your ability to deal with what is being thrown at you?

In the midst of the Covid Pandemic we are all having to face a variety of challenges, staying safe, socially distancing from friends and family, dramatic changes to our working patterns and so on. Our confidence levels and ability to remain calm under pressure will have a huge impact on how well we deal with these challenges.

Here is a 3 step coaching exercise, called Anchoring, that you can practise on your own to help build your confidence to meet the challenges you face in the “new normal” that lies ahead for us all.

Step One: Use your favourite method to deeply relax – some people use deep breathing, some listen to classical music, others find it deeply relaxing to have a hot bath.

Step two: Recall, in as much detail as possible, an experience from your past when you were at your most confident or were very calm. Relive the experience slowly and fully, physically and emotionally. Imagine looking at your self in this situation, what could you see, what were you doing, what was your body stature like, were you standing or sitting, your facial features, were you smiling, laughing, concentrating? How were you feeling, what were the emotions you were experiencing? How good did you feel?

Recapture all the sensations you experienced then. Spend some time immersing yourself in the experience and enjoying the various feelings involved. Whilst doing so make a small movement such as tapping your thigh, squeezing your ear lobe. This trigger movement should be discreet, something that other people would not necessarily notice you doing in public.

Step three: Repeat this on several occasions, until you are able to automatically recall the feeling of confidence and calm when you use your physical trigger and conjure up this mental image. The more you practise this, the easier and quicker it will become.

You will then find you will be able to use your physical trigger (some of my coachees use the tapping on their thigh, or squeezing their thumb and forefinger together) to anchor your feelings of calm or confidence whenever you feel the need.

I have clients who have used this technique to overcome their anxiety around delivering a presentation, networking more effectively, handling interviews and dealing with major changes in their lives.

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