Posts tagged communication skills
Six steps to empowerment
Mar 19th
I recently coached a wonderfully talented and experienced senior manager who had just started a new role at a large international company. The job was well paid, close to home and well within her skills levels. When Mary landed the role she was excited at the potential the opportunity presented to really contribute to the success of the organisation.
Three months on and she was on the verge of handing in her resignation. Why? Mary was bored and was feeling under utilised and under valued. She was going into work and carrying out duties that she did not find challenging or stretching. Mary had been bought in to help set up and run a new department in the company which involved selling a new service to a section of the market that were unfamiliar with it and the benefits it could bring. This challenge tied directly into her previous experience, but instead of being given the freedom to shape and influence the direction of the department she found these decisions being taken at Board level by people with no real experience in this area.
Mary was going home each day boiling with frustration, full of ideas on how to improve performance that were being ignored by Directors who had fixed views on what should be done based on little more than emotion and anecdotal evidence.
Sadly this is a fairly common picture up and down the country with Business Leaders not prepared to “take the risk” of creating an environment and culture which allows talented people to flourish. Too often Leaders feel the need to keep control in the belief that they should know best and have all the answers to the issues faced by the company.
Instead Leaders should be looking to empower their people whenever possible. To do so isn’t to abdicate your responsibility as a Leader, instead it’s an opportunity to recognise the importance of your team members and give them a platform to demonstrate their potential. As a result your people will feel valued and their commitment and loyalty will increase.
Here are 6 tips on how to take the first steps to empowerment:
1) Clearly define their responsibilities. Unless people are absolutely clear what is expected of them, there is the chance they will fail to meet expectations and also will not understand why. This will breed resentment and uncertainty, a recipe for disaster. Do they know what success looks like?
2) Give them authority equal to their responsibilities. Having defined their role and responsibilities allow them to make the necessary decisions within that remit. Constantly asking for permission on minor issues only serves to decrease morale and drive.
3) Give them knowledge and information. Information is power and open communication and sharing of appropriate levels of information is important to ensure people feel valued and able to contribute effectively.
4) Trust them. Giving them responsibility involves letting go of the apron strings. Discuss and agree outcomes and then let them get on with it, letting them know where you are should they need help and advice along the way.
5) Give them permission to fail. If they never take risks, they will never grow. There are many opportunities on projects etc for people to fail that aren’t catastrophic to the overall goal. By allowing people to fail, they can learn and develop their decision making skills. Remember what happened when you made mistakes? What did you learn?
6) Recognise them for their achievements. This is a critical part of the process. If they don’t receive praise and recognition for their performance, where is their incentive to strive and challenge themselves?
How many of these 6 steps are you already practising?
If you were to ask your staff how empowered they feel, what do you think they would say?
What more could you do?
Mary? She decided to have a meeting with the Directors and challenge them to follow the 6 steps above. Three month later, Mary is happy in the role, and the department is now starting to take great strides towards achieving the agreed goals. Surprising how much can be achieved with open communication and a frank exchange of views….
The make up of a modern day coach
Jan 26th
How’s the view from where you are?
Oct 30th
“All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.” ~ Leonardo Da Vinci
A few days ago I was listening to a radio phone in, as a friend of mine had been invited on to discuss the latest research which suggested that men are quicker to say “I love you” to a new partner than women were. Before my friend (www.glow-coaching.co.uk ) was interviewed the presenter spoke to a pyschologist who declared that those men who did say “I love you” first were likely to have done so as their goal was to have sex, and they knew that women were more likely to agree upon receiving this message.
However this would not apply to women who said it first as they had different emotional needs and would say it for different reasons. The research from the study has a number of interpretations and it has been interesting to read the different views people have on the findings of the various studies on the subject.
These views are usually formed by our own experiences and they then tend to dictate how we react to different situations. For example if you are in a relationship and your partner has declared their love for you, how did you react when they first told you?
Did you make the assumption as the psychologist suggests that they were after “something”?
If you were the first to say it, how did you expect/hope your partner to react?
When working with people on their communication skills, be they leaders, sales people, people wanting career coaching or dating advice etc, one of the key areas to discuss and consider is how the person/group you are communicating with might feel and react to the message you are giving.
Too often people will make the assumption that the people they are communicating with will have exactly the same view of the situation as them, and they will fail to consider how else they could feel about and interpret a situation. Being able to walk in another persons shoes for a while is a great asset to have in effective communication.
As an example to demonstrate this let’s assume you have a situation you are trying to resolve with a member of your team.
A simple and effective way to come up with a potential solution that will suit everyone is to put three chairs in a triangle, facing each other. Sit in the first chair and describe how you feel about the situation, what you think the issues and potential solutions are and so on.
Then move to the second chair and imagine you are the other individual. Then you need to describe how you, as the other person, thinks and feels about the situation. The challenge with this is “staying in character” and making sure you are expressing what you believe the other person will be thinking and how they are viewing the situation.
Having done this, move to the third chair. The movement between chairs is important as the physical act of changing chairs helps you take on the new thought processes. In the third chair you are playing the role of an objective observer and in this role you need to give some objective advice on what you see and what needs to be considered.
Sound crazy? 
Try it, you will be surprised how effective it can be!
The starting point is to remember that everyone has a different view of the world, and it won’t be the same as yours.
If you can catch a glimpse of their view you are in a far better position to achieve a successful outcome to any communication you engage in, even winning the affections of your partner!
What can you see here?
A young woman?
An old Lady?
Or both?
“The funny thing is, people’s perceptions of what a song is about is
usually wrong a majority of the time. But they’re still going to read what they
want to into it. ~ Vince Gill
post script…..
Jimmy Savile, who passed away this week, expressed the importance of considering others point of view when asked some years ago about his show, Jim’ll fix it;
“I never to this day, had a favourite Fix it, because I never looked at it from my point of view. For most of them, that was the biggest thing that ever happened in their lives at that time, so they were all favourites”.
RIP Jimmy.
Engaging your team to achieve goals
May 11th
The Apprentice returned to our screens last night, and once again we had the opportunity to see the impact of poor man management skills on team outcomes. The Project Manager of the losing team appeared to have a strategy in his head on what he wanted to achieve, but failed to communicate this to the rest of team. It might be important to “roll with the punches|” it is also important to have a specific plan and to communicate it to the rest of your team, so they understand what their role in the process is.
In the Boardroom after the end of the task and during the fulfilment of the task itself, it was clear that the individuals in the team didn’t have a clear understanding of their roles in terms of how their efforts would impact on the achievement of the team goal. Indeed whilst the Project Manager explained he had a specific target he was aiming for in terms of sales from what we saw he failed to convey this to his team. Instead the team were given a series of instructions and just told to get on with it.
As a result the team didn’t have a SMART goal to aim for (Specific, Measurable, Achieveable, Realistic, Time driven).
Yes, the team had a target; buy as many materials as they could for the budget given and then sell as much as they could, but they suffered from not having something more specific to aim for.
There were a number of reasons that the team lost in the task, but better communication by the Project Manager could have resulted in victory instead of defeat. By involving the rest of the team in the decision making process and allowing them some input the Project Manager would have had the opportunity to check his assumptions about what could be achieved and would have ensured greater buy in from the rest of the team.
He could also have checked the skill set that was available within the team and used this knowledge to make the best use of resources available to him. For example within the team they had someone who had experience of running a business within the particular business sector they were operating in. Using his knowledge and expertise might have resulted in changes to the original plan and better management of the task.
Instead the Project Leader took too much responsibility onto his own shoulders in an effort to demonstrate his skill as an “entrepreneur”, and also ignored his own skill set in pursuit of this goal. A true Leader will root their decisions in their own skill set and then use others’ skills to help them grow and develop. How you communicate what you want to achieve and how you intend to achieve it are critical factors in achieving success.
Share the vision, share the decisions (as much as you can), share the responsbility and encourage your team and your chances of success are far greater, as everyone will understand what needs to be done and what their specific role is. There still needs to be direction from the leader, there still needs to be follow up and checks in place, but it is important to involve your team in the whole process and give them a sense of value and an understanding of how they can impact onto the achievement of goals.
Motivational Communication Skills
Feb 15th
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”
Willie Nelson
Imagine this scenario:
You are an very experienced sales manager and have been asked to manage a team of senior sales people who have been struggling recently. You are in your first group meeting with the Sales Director. He is asking for updates from the other managers and turns to you and asks if you think you can achieve your targets with the team you have. You reply:
”I’m afraid after working with them yesterday and spending a day last week observing them on calls, I can’t answer that question.
I would like to say so, but it would be foolish of me to make rash statements.”
What do you think your Sales Director would read into what you have said?
He could think; “sensible answer, he needs more evidence before he can reach a conclusion.” Equally he might think, “hmm he doesn’t sound too confident, sounds like he’s trying to hedge his bets.”
Would your answer instil confidence in the Sales Director?
If your sales team could hear you saying it how do you think they would feel?
Would they feel encouraged, indifferent or would your answer increase the doubt in their minds that they might miss their targets?
What else could you have said?
“There’s a lot of ability in the team and I’m really looking forward to working with them. The target is in sight and if we put in the right amount of effort we’ve got a great chance of success.”
Still not guaranteeing to hit target, but do you sound more confident and put your Sales Director at ease until you can get a firm handle on what is going on? Have you also given a morale boost to your new team and demonstrated some confidence in them and their ability?
The reason for posing the questions is that Mr Motivation himself, Roy Hodgson is back in business.
Roy Hodgson, the new West Bromwich Albion Manager
Today he was officially unveiled as the new Manager of West Brom, who currently sit in 17th place in the Premier League. They have 27 points and the consensus is that 40 points will probably be necessary to avoid relegation. With some 36 points still to play for and half their games against teams in the bottom half of the table their destiny is very much in their own hands.
One of the first questions in the press conference today was to ask Hodgson if West Brom had the players to avoid the drop. Did he use the opportunity to build up his players, tell everyone how much ability there was in the squad? Nope., instead we we got:
“I’m afraid after 90 minutes working with them today (Monday) and 90 minutes watching them on Saturday, I can’t answer that question. I would like to say so, but it would be foolish of me to make rash statements.”
Inspirational and optimistic as ever then….
He didn’t stop there though, asked about the task he had at his new club, he came out with;
“We don’t have much time. Like a lot of other clubs, we’re in a desperately difficult situation at the bottom of the league, trying to retain our status.”
Instead of talking about a “desperately difficult situation” why not talk about a great opportunity to cement their place in the Premier League with a great bunch of players? If his new players didn’t previously have doubts about their ability to maintain their place in the “best league in the world” they surely do now!
I have no doubt that Roy Hodgson is only giving his honest assessment of the situation and it won’t have even occurred to him that he might be putting negative thoughts into his players minds, after all he is talking to the media and not the players, but he is demonstrating an extreme naivety about how his words might be interpreted. Indded some media outlets were reporting that Hodgson does not have confidence that West Brom can stay up, whereas others report that he is hopeful and confident in his ability to avoid relegation.
You can bet that his players will have heard what he has said to the media today and will be putting their own interpretation on his comments. If players are already feeling nervous about the task they face his answers to the media’s questions will not have eased their fears. It is absolutely critical to think about what you say as your words can so easily be twisted and exaggerated.
The danger Hodgson faces now is that his team will go into games worrying about making mistakes and their subconscious minds will be focussed on what can go wrong rather than what is going well.
As a manager it is very easy for you to put negative thoughts in the minds of your people, with your choice of language dictating how your message is received.
Derren Brown demonstrated this superbly in his show on Channel 4, when he told a 19 year old girl NOT to push a button on the desk as this would electrocute a kitten that was in a glass box in the room with her. Derren then set up a countdown click and left her alone in the room for two minutes as she watched the seconds tick down to when the experiment would be over. With two seconds to go the girl crossed the room and pressed the button….
Of course the Kitten wasn’t killed but was simply a demonstration of how you could put someone’s focus on negative actions by putting negative thoughts in their minds. Doing this ultimately resulted in the negative action being carried out.
You can see the clip on the link below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDwe_PNrACI
The whole clip is 23 minutes long, but the main part as described above starts on 18 mins 20 secs.
Roy Hodgson put negative thoughts into the minds of the Liverpool players in his time there, and he appears to be on the verge of doing the same with the West Brom players. It will be interesting to see if West Brom manage to avoid the drop.
While we wait to see, think about the messages you give to your team, your friends and your family. Do you spend your time looking for what can go wrong or do you talk about the opportunities that are out there?
“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” Mahatma GhandiHave you got the whole picture?
Dec 17th
What we think we see or hear isn’t necessarily the reality. Everyone has a different map of the world and will interpret what we say or what they see in a way that conforms to their perception of reality. This is an important factor to remember when we are managing teams and individuals.
I was running a coaching session with a management team earlier this week and we had a great example of this. One of the managers was having problems with one of their team, their work had become sloppy and they were being disruptive and it was having an effect on others in the department. It was only when the manager sat down with the individual that it came to light that factors outside work were the cause of the issues at work rather than it being purely work related. Finding this out put a completely different slant on the situation and resulted in the manager handling the matter in a completely different way.
The following video is an old advert for The Guardian which sums up the need to consider all angles before coming to a conclusion really well:
This also works from the other end of the telescope. As a manager we need to think about how what we say can possibly be interpreted. The manager of Liverpool, Roy Hodgson, is coming under increasing scrutiny for some of the comments he makes in interviews and press conferences. He is alienating the vast majority of the Liverpool fan base with comments such as this following the defeat against closest rivals Everton:
“We didn’t score goals and Everton did but I refuse to accept that we were in any way outplayed or any way inferior. I watched the performance and the second half was as good as I saw a Liverpool team play under my management that is for sure.”
I have no doubt that Roy was trying to display an attitude of defiance, we will not let this result hold us back, we are on an upward spiral etc. Unfortunately this back fired as Liverpool fans had watched an insipid display by their team against their bitter rivals and his comments came on top of other comments from him describing a Liverpool win at Goodison as being “Utopia”. Bearing in mind that in recent seasons Liverpool have had an extremely good record against Everton, his choice of language created the impression of someone who didn’t expect to win, someone who doesn’t have the belief and level of ambition expected of a Liverpool manager. He is creating problems for himself by not thinking through how his comments can be interpreted by those listening and reading. He is saying one thing and others are seeing something completely different. Perhaps he could do with some coaching?
It’s like the dancer below, you may want to see her moving in a clockwise direction, but in reality is she really moving anti-clockwise?
Can you change your perception and get her to change direction?
Self Belief
Oct 1st
Judges houses in X Factor this weekend. It’s been interesting that one of the most common phrases used by Simon Cowell again this year has been “I think (s)he has a great voice but (s)he has just got no self belief”. It was the same with Paul Potts and Susan Boyle in Britain’s Got Talent. This year one of the contestants struggling with lack of confidence is Rebecca Ferguson from Liverpool:
She is interviewed at the beginning of the clip above and explains how she was told “her life was over” when she fell pregnant at a young age and she should give up her dreams. What people say to us and how they react to us has a great impact on how we view ourselves and Rebecca’s story is a great example of how we can knock people’s self belief without having that intention.
Rebecca’s got a great voice but if she wants to win the competition she will need to start having more faith in herself and her ability. As long as they are not too cocky people tend to gravitate to those individuals who are confident in themselves as they radiate a feeling of optimism, success and fun. These are factors people want to associate with.
When communicating with people we need to consider what is the likely impact of what we say and do, as we can give a completely different message to the one intended if we are not careful. This is particularly true when you are managing others. As a manager you have a position of authority and the things you say tend to be magnified by those who report to you and can easily be distorted.
Roy Hodgson at Liverpool is an example of this. Prior to the game in Holland this week he was reflecting on the Northampton game and what he would have done differently. He commented that the problem was that he had given all his “quality players” time off to prepare for the game on saturday and the result was that he didn’t have anyone of great quality on the bench who he could bring on to try and win the game. I’m quite sure he didn’t mean to belittle the players he did use in the Northampton game but how good must they have felt hearing these words?
Here is a clip from a film “She’s out of my league”, where Kirk’s friends are discussing why beautiful girls don’t tend to go out with guys like Kirk. It’s interesting in the examples they use that the girls that do go out with guys out of their league do so for specific reasons. As Kirk can’t offer “benefits” like this he has no chance. Nothing like a bit of encouragement from your friends is there!
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Sometimes it’s what you don’t say…
Sep 21st
On Sunday Liverpool came from 2-0 down to draw level, only to see Man Utd snatch a winner 6 minutes from time. Liverpool’s second goal came from a free kick awarded on the edge of the box after Fernando Torres, Liverpool’s striker, had been pulled down by Utd defender, John OShea.
Personally I thought it was clearly a foul but didn’t warrant the red card that many thought it did. Afterwards the Utd manager, Alex Ferguson, was interviewed and accused Torres of cheating to try and get OShea sent off. When Roy Hodgson, the new Liverpool manager, was interviewed he was asked about Ferguson’s comments to which he said:
“I prefer to talk about the game and talk about issues that interest me,” he said. “Sir Alex is entitled to any opinion he wants to have but I’m not going to come here and say I agree or disagree.”
Roy Hodgson
Nothing controversial about what Roy had to say, quite reasonable and calm in fact. Torres has not been playing well, he is still finding his way back after an injury and his confidence is low. The previous week he had been heavily criticised by “football expert” Jamie Redknapp who called his performance diabolical, a slightly amusing comment bearing in mind he was criticising a player who has been regarded as one of the world’s best in his position, since arriving in England.
How then should Torres feel about his manager’s response to the manager of their biggest rivals calling him a cheat? Hodgson completely side stepped the issue, perhaps because he didn’t want to offend his friend Ferguson, who had also claimed Utd should have run up a cricket score against Liverpool despite the fact they only had 3 shots on target during the game.
Here was an opportunity for Hodgson to achieve a number of goals; first he could have boosted Torres’ confidence by publically ridiculing Ferguson’s outlandish claims and at the same time he would have given Liverpool fans a glimpse of a man who has faith in his ability to manage Liverpool. Instead the fact that he didn’t defend Torres has caused people to have further doubts about his self belief.
He came across as a man who didn’t want to upset Ferguson rather than a manager who was prepared to defend his players against all comers. I’m sure this isn’t the case and with his players he presents a different image, but people will read into both what you say and equally what you don’t say. The message they infer can often be completely different to the one intended. It may well be that Roy wanted to try and raise above the tribal nature of the Liverpool-Utd rivalry and take the moral highground. Unfortunately there are many people out there who read between the lines of his comments and came away with a completely different view. Perhaps Torres did as well.
It is really important for us to consider what message we are trying to convey in our communication with others, as people will pick up on what you don’t say just as much as what you do.
It will be interesting to see how the media reacts when Torres next takes to the field, will they be talking about a world class striker starting to re-discover his form, or will they be discussing whether he is a cheat or a diver?
Ferguson has done well, he has put the spotlight on Torres (as shown by the newspaper headlines the next day) and prevented any focus being on his team once again throwing away a two goal lead. It also prevented any awkward questions about a member of his own team who has a remarkable problem staying on his feet when an opposing player (sometimes even a team mate) looks at him….
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