Public Musings
Coaching. What is the latest information about coaching and how can we implement it?
What type of Leader are you?
Apr 1st
“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” Theodore Roosevelt

Leaders are followed because people trust and respect them and this tends to be achieved through the leaders behaviours rather than the skills they possess.
Being able to modify your behaviour to meet different circumstances is an important facet of successful leadership. Effective Leaders need to be able to use a variety of styles to suit both the situation they find themsleves in and the people they are leading. Understanding your natural style of leadership is the first step in this process and how you can adapt this to meet different demands. Below is a link to a simple test created by The University of Kent to establish what is your natural style of leadership and gives you pointers on how this can be received by the people you lead:
Do the test and find out if you are Napoleon, Florence Nightingale, Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela or Ghandi!
Are you an Imposter?
Mar 4th
Watching the Oscars last weekend and the various winners coming up on stage to make their acceptance speeches, I found myself thinking about Michelle Pfeiffer who I had been watching in Frankie and Johnny the previous evening.

While Michelle has been nominated for an Oscar three times, she has never actually won one, although she has won a BAFTA and a Golden Globe during her career to date. At the peak of her career she was an A list actress, a superstar in the world of acting, and it was at the height of her fame that she came out with the following quote;
“I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented. I’m really not very good. It’s all been a big sham.”
She’s not alone in having these thoughts; here are Kate Winslet’s thoughts on her acting career;
“Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this; I’m a fraud. They’re going to fire me — all these things. I’m fat; I’m ugly… “
How can 2 award winning actresses, widely regarded as among the best in their field, believe such things about themselves? These beliefs are surprisingly common and are known as the “Imposter Syndrome”.
The Imposter Syndrome describes how people suffer from the feeling that they are imposters and they do not belong where they are and they don’t deserve what they have accomplished through their own talent and hard work. Instead they tend to attribute any success they have to luck, help from others, timing or the ability to fool others into thinking they are smarter than they really are.
Unless they learn to deal with this self doubt, people suffering from the Imposter Syndrome will sell themselves short, become risk averse and will hold themselves back from achieving as much as they could.
So how can you break this thought process and accept the skills you have? Here are 6 tips on dealing with the Imposter Syndrome:
1. Separate feelings from fact. There are times you’ll feel stupid. It happens to everyone from time to time. Realize that just because you may feel stupid, it doesn’t mean you are.
2. Recognise and accept your strengths. Instead of blaming luck or others when something goes well for you, accept you have played the major part in the success you achieve. Be proud of what you have done. If you don’t believe in yourself why should others?
3. Develop a new response to failure and mistake making. Henry Ford said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Instead of constantly beating yourself up for making mistakes learn from them, put them behind you and move on.
4. Develop a new script. Your script is that automatic mental record that starts playing in situations that trigger your Imposter feelings. When you start a new job for example, instead of thinking, “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” try thinking, “Everyone who starts something new feels awkward in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.”
5. Visualise success. Professional athletes spend time before an event picturing themselves succeeding and getting a sense of the feelings they will have when they reach their goals. The successful people in sports and business don’t think in terms of failure and defeat, expect success and you are far more likely to achieve it. Don’t wait until you feel confident to start pushing yourself. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your behaviour first and allow your confidence to build.
6. Keep a journal. Write down what you do. It doesn’t have to be war and peace, just a note of the tasks you have completed, the challenges you have faced, how you felt before during and after. This will build up a dossier for you and act as a reminder for you of just what you are capable of the next time you encounter self doubt.
Do you ever feel like a fake?
When do you feel like that?
How have you tried to deal with these feelings in the past?
What could you do differently in the future?
Who said what….
1) “I just never know if I’m going to pull it off, I have terrible grave concerns about my own ability.” Matt Damon
The make up of a modern day coach
Jan 26th
Does money really motivate senior managers?
Jan 20th
Facilitated a course this week for senior managers of a Blue Chip company when the subject of the factors that motivate people at work came up. A couple of delegates were of the opinion that there was nothing better than an envelope from your Boss with a short note thanking you for a good job together with a big cheque!
We discussed Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and Human Givens, but I think this 10 minute video does a great job of explaining where money fits into the motivation ladder.
Boooooooo!!
Oct 30th
After appearing on a phone in last week, this week seemed to be a week to listen to them!
This one was a football phone in and a football fan had called in to justify why he and his fellow fans thought it was a good idea to boo their own players. Jason Roberts, a professional footballer, was aghast at the idea.
“How can you possibly think that booing your own players is going to help them?”
“It might not help some, but there are definitely some players who want to prove you wrong when you boo them”, was the confident reply.
A player at Spurs had a different view;
“when your fans get behind you it’s the most exciting feeling possible. It’s so important that a player feels appreciated by his own fans – otherwise he has to fight against them as well as the other team and their supporters.”
Whilst at Liverpool Fernando Torres said;
“With just 45,000 fans there, that roar they give makes you think you have wings on your feet.”
I wonder if the fans at Chelsea give him the same sense of invincibility?
There doesn’t appear to be any logic in the football fans argument that booing your own players will make them player better. It also begs the question why in other environments, work and home life for example, do we spend so much time telling people what they are doing wrong rather than telling them what they are doing well?
There has been an example of this in the last week with the row between Nicolas Sarkozy and David Cameron, with the French president expressing rage at the constant criticism and lectures from UK ministers.
Sarkozy bluntly told Cameron: “You have lost a good opportunity to shut up.” He added: “We are sick of you criticising us and telling us what to do. You say you hate the euro and now you want to interfere in our meetings.”
You wonder if there would have been a different interaction if Cameron and the Government had taken a more positive approach, whilst still having the same goals they currently have….
Recent research suggests that the vast majority of what children hear consists of them being told not to do this and not to do that. If we are not taking the time to explain what they do well, and why they do it well, how can we expect them to grow and improve?
In work environments, the more enlightened managers and leaders spend their time trying to “catch people doing something right” and then giving them suitable levels of praise and recognition. In doing this it is important to bear in mind that the praise needs to be specific and related to a specific behaviour or action, rather than praise for praise sake.
There are many Business Leaders who have been influenced by the work of Ken Blanchard and he believes if he had to choose just one thing to teach about for the rest of his life, he has no doubt that “catching people doing things right” would be his lasting message. His research has shown that positive reinforcement and redirection can help increase productivity.
Think about somebody that you have worked with and admired. How did they behave? How did they treat you? How much belief did they have in you? What impact did this have on you?
Now think about somebody who you worked for that you didn’t respect or admire and ask yourself the same questions.
Research in the States has shown that 64% of people leave their jobs not because of the company or the work conditions, instead they leave because of the Boss they work for. This demonstrates that the way we motivate at work is key.
The question is, what type of fan are you?
How’s the view from where you are?
Oct 30th
“All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.” ~ Leonardo Da Vinci
A few days ago I was listening to a radio phone in, as a friend of mine had been invited on to discuss the latest research which suggested that men are quicker to say “I love you” to a new partner than women were. Before my friend (www.glow-coaching.co.uk ) was interviewed the presenter spoke to a pyschologist who declared that those men who did say “I love you” first were likely to have done so as their goal was to have sex, and they knew that women were more likely to agree upon receiving this message.
However this would not apply to women who said it first as they had different emotional needs and would say it for different reasons. The research from the study has a number of interpretations and it has been interesting to read the different views people have on the findings of the various studies on the subject.
These views are usually formed by our own experiences and they then tend to dictate how we react to different situations. For example if you are in a relationship and your partner has declared their love for you, how did you react when they first told you?
Did you make the assumption as the psychologist suggests that they were after “something”?
If you were the first to say it, how did you expect/hope your partner to react?
When working with people on their communication skills, be they leaders, sales people, people wanting career coaching or dating advice etc, one of the key areas to discuss and consider is how the person/group you are communicating with might feel and react to the message you are giving.
Too often people will make the assumption that the people they are communicating with will have exactly the same view of the situation as them, and they will fail to consider how else they could feel about and interpret a situation. Being able to walk in another persons shoes for a while is a great asset to have in effective communication.
As an example to demonstrate this let’s assume you have a situation you are trying to resolve with a member of your team.
A simple and effective way to come up with a potential solution that will suit everyone is to put three chairs in a triangle, facing each other. Sit in the first chair and describe how you feel about the situation, what you think the issues and potential solutions are and so on.
Then move to the second chair and imagine you are the other individual. Then you need to describe how you, as the other person, thinks and feels about the situation. The challenge with this is “staying in character” and making sure you are expressing what you believe the other person will be thinking and how they are viewing the situation.
Having done this, move to the third chair. The movement between chairs is important as the physical act of changing chairs helps you take on the new thought processes. In the third chair you are playing the role of an objective observer and in this role you need to give some objective advice on what you see and what needs to be considered.
Sound crazy?
Try it, you will be surprised how effective it can be!
The starting point is to remember that everyone has a different view of the world, and it won’t be the same as yours.
If you can catch a glimpse of their view you are in a far better position to achieve a successful outcome to any communication you engage in, even winning the affections of your partner!
What can you see here?
A young woman?
An old Lady?
Or both?
“The funny thing is, people’s perceptions of what a song is about is
usually wrong a majority of the time. But they’re still going to read what they
want to into it. ~ Vince Gill
post script…..
Jimmy Savile, who passed away this week, expressed the importance of considering others point of view when asked some years ago about his show, Jim’ll fix it;
“I never to this day, had a favourite Fix it, because I never looked at it from my point of view. For most of them, that was the biggest thing that ever happened in their lives at that time, so they were all favourites”.
RIP Jimmy.
Do you think Charisma is important?
Sep 28th
With the Labour Party Conference being in held in Liverpool Ed Miliband’s leadership has come under the media spotlight, with questions being asked about his ability to successfully lead his party into the next election. One of the criticisms levelled at him has been that he has been largely anonymous in his first year as leader of the Labour Party with him lacking the charisma to make an impact on a largely unimpressed public.

As a result of this media debate I was invited to take part in a radio discussion on the importance of charisma and if it was something that could be taught.
When canvassing opinion prior to the radio discussion people had differing opinions on exactly what Charisma is and whether someone could learn this “natural skill”.
One common theme that did emerge was that in order to be charismatic people needed to be in tune with their thoughts and feelings and to behave in a genuine and authentic manner. Trying to fake it would not work as others would see through it and the individual would be viewed with suspicion and not be trusted.
Charisma is defined as a personal quality that gives an individual influence or authority over large numbers of people, and is certainly an attribute of value to a Politician in an age of celebrity and media sound bites. Does it matter to the rest of us?
In sales there is a well worn cliche that “people buy people first” and I think this holds true in many situations. For example I was working with the directors of a kitchen company who were surprised to land an order where the customer knew that they could buy a very similar kitchen for £2000 less from a competitor. The customers explained that they were happy to spend the extra money as they felt they could trust my clients to deliver on the promises made and believed the end result would be better for them. They didn’t feel the same level of belief in the quality of service that would be provided by the competition.
They had not dealt with either company before so why should that be?
I think the answer lies in the relationship developed between my clients and their customer. The Director of the company that dealt with the enquiry is very passionate about the work they do, he has a good grasp of what is important to his potential customers and is confident that his company can meet those needs. He believes in providing a service he can be proud of. Allied to these values is a personable nature that enables him to talk to people in a friendly approachable manner, explaining the process without using jargon. Because he talks at the same level as his customers they pay attention to what he says and are therefore in a position to make a logical decision as to whether to use his services.
Many people think charisma is an innate ability and therefore can’t be taught, and there are some aspects of charisma where this might be true. However if you break down the qualities that make up charisma these are areas that can be worked on and improved:
1) Being genuine – say what you mean and mean what you say. Keep your message simple, be clear and articulate, don’t just echo the status quo, dare to be different.
2) Understand who you are and what you stand for – what are your values? What are the standards that are important to you?
3) Understanding the needs of others – how often do you actively listen to what other people say, rather than wait for them to stop talking so you can talk some more? If you show interest in others, they will be interested in what you have to say. Smile, nod when they talk and maintain eye contact. This is one way Bill Clinton used to make people feel as though “they were the only person in the room”.
4) Emotional Control – keeping yourself on an even keel allows you to be seen as approachable, but you also need to be able to express your thoughts and feelings in a spontaneous and genuine manner.
5) Think about your body language – stand up straight, relax, smile, think positive thoughts – how many charismatic people do you know that are miserable, sullen, look fed up and are negative?
The above isn’t a comprehensive list of qualities, but if you were able to master these you will find that you are more confident in yourself, more relaxed and more fun to be with!
Think about the people who you find charismatic, what do they do that makes them stand out from the crowd?
Why not post a comment here about who you think has charisma and what qualities they demonstrate?
Do we get the Unions we deserve?
Sep 23rd
I was reading a post on Twitter a few days ago, where a local politician was complaining about the attitude of a particular Union and they clearly believed all problems were down to the Union leaders. Apart from the fact that the language used was not particularly constructive is it actually the case that the issues are purely down to the Union?

Don’t get me wrong some Unions and their leaders can be a right pain in the ass, but I can think of many companies across a variety of industries that have great working relationships with their workforce and the unions involved. So why does it seem to be particular companies/industries that have regular problems in their industrial relations?
One story I was told last week might hold a clue. I was talking to an Interim HR Consultant who is currently working with a large international company and they were in a meeting with a Director. The meeting centred on the direction they wanted for a project that would affect the sales operation. The HR Consultant suggested asking the sales force for their thoughts so they could play a part in the agreement of the project’s goals.
Apparently the Director was aghast giving the curt reply; “They are sales people, we are managers, we tell them what to f*?!*>g do, not the other way round”.
The HR Consultant thought they had been transported back to the 1980′s. Unfortunately I think there are still many companies out there that have management teams that treat their people in this way – “you are here to do as you are told, your opinion doesn’t matter”.
If you don’t treat people with respect, give them clear direction (when necessary), encouragement, support and empower them to have some element of control what kind of relationship do you expect to have with those around you?
It takes two to have an argument.

















