Judges houses in X Factor this weekend. It’s been interesting that one of the most common phrases used by Simon Cowell again this year has been “I think (s)he has a great voice but (s)he has just got no self belief”. It was the same with Paul Potts and Susan Boyle in Britain’s Got Talent. This year one of the contestants struggling with lack of confidence is Rebecca Ferguson from Liverpool:
She is interviewed at the beginning of the clip above and explains how she was told “her life was over” when she fell pregnant at a young age and she should give up her dreams. What people say to us and how they react to us has a great impact on how we view ourselves and Rebecca’s story is a great example of how we can knock people’s self belief without having that intention.
Rebecca’s got a great voice but if she wants to win the competition she will need to start having more faith in herself and her ability. As long as they are not too cocky people tend to gravitate to those individuals who are confident in themselves as they radiate a feeling of optimism, success and fun. These are factors people want to associate with.
When communicating with people we need to consider what is the likely impact of what we say and do, as we can give a completely different message to the one intended if we are not careful. This is particularly true when you are managing others. As a manager you have a position of authority and the things you say tend to be magnified by those who report to you and can easily be distorted.
Roy Hodgson at Liverpool is an example of this. Prior to the game in Holland this week he was reflecting on the Northampton game and what he would have done differently. He commented that the problem was that he had given all his “quality players” time off to prepare for the game on saturday and the result was that he didn’t have anyone of great quality on the bench who he could bring on to try and win the game. I’m quite sure he didn’t mean to belittle the players he did use in the Northampton game but how good must they have felt hearing these words?
Here is a clip from a film “She’s out of my league”, where Kirk’s friends are discussing why beautiful girls don’t tend to go out with guys like Kirk. It’s interesting in the examples they use that the girls that do go out with guys out of their league do so for specific reasons. As Kirk can’t offer “benefits” like this he has no chance. Nothing like a bit of encouragement from your friends is there! 🙂
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